GOLF
I love golf. It was not always this way – I used to only admire golf, and simultaneously be wildly frustrated by it. Now it is a full blown love affair. It started as an opportunity to spend some time with my dad, lugging his old clubs around Eisenhower Park on Long Island. My early rounds were a solitary contest to see how many balls I could lose in the woods (POI: there aren’t really any woods there, although I did skip a few out toward Carman Ave). Precisely at my breaking point, I would “pure” one (well, relative to my ability at that point), and just like that, she lured me right back in with her sweet embrace. These days, I accumulate minutes on the fringes of days to study the pros in a feeble attempt to perfect my imperfect swing. I look ahead to encouraging my progeny to avoid Weaver Street and keep the ball in the short grass. Hours on the range and short game practice area, combined with professional instruction are required. The payoff is uncertain round to round. Perseverance is key. So is a clear mind as you bring the club back.
Golf is HARD.
WORK
I love my work. My first career brought me excitement and treasure, but the underlying human interactions and opportunity to grow – and help others grow – are what truly brought me joy. As that waned in the age of algos and HFTs, I embarked on this journey as a pro dev consultant and performance coach, reigniting my enthusiasm for working with people not machines. My clients have stimulated remarkable growth for me. Mentally I have been challenged and have risen up victorious more than lay back defeated. The spoils have been enlightenment through learning and experiencing the world through the eyes, minds and even struggles of others. Physically I have been taxed by years of early mornings / late nights, and countless hotels, airports and conference halls that are simultaneously numbing and helpful for keeping trim. Alas, I am blessed. I know now there was a paradoxical truth to my parental guidance: “find something you enjoy doing and can earn a living at, and you will never work a day in your life.” This current trend of working by staying home is, I pray, nearing a conclusion. It must. Nothing great was ever achieved by couch surfing, and after all the red eye flights and early morning cram sessions, I know. Good work comes after good effort.
Work is HARD.
KIDS
I love my kids. Grandpa Mike was both a rigidly successful businessman and Santa Claus to our extended family every Christmas Eve. He would dedicate a couple of hours on Sunday to visit, take us to brunch, and sometimes treat us to a new toy. He was quoted as classifying children “the great time wasters.” Some days, this resonates as the tummy aches, fighting over sticker books and objections to bath time seem to burn the clock like non-GMO gluten free coconut oil on a red hot skillet. Other days, it resonates more positively as cherub-esque smiles and delightful drawing contests pair perfectly with a rainy, lazy Saturday agenda. In either interpretation, kids inspire the hustle, the diligence, the fortitude to see our grand designs through for the sake of building a better life for them. They also, at times, present the final stretch of hurdles to actually crossing whichever finish line we are racing toward.
Kids are HARD.
LOVE
In my bar-backing days (see: summer of ‘98), one of my case-of-beer-carrying-comrades shared with me the now ubiquitous “work smarter not harder” quip. This became a mantra for my sophomore thru senior years (we still observed those class distinctions back before the turn of the century). As life progressed I tried my best to “love smarter” with varying degrees of success due to various circumstantial factors. What I now know is, loving smarter does not necessarily mean it is all milkshakes and first kisses. Loving smarter entails a good amount of self-reflection and a commitment to improvement where appropriate. Loving smarter is swimming with the tide, rather than reaching exhaustion trying to overpower the force of the ocean. In plain language: listen intently to their daily report, bring home a bouquet of fresh flowers, fill their stocking with extra little treats and goodies, replace the lightbulb in the closet the first time they ask. You know, all the things that start off easy, and once we slide into the comfort of long term become less frequent and seemingly more laborious. Loving smarter yields tremendous results, every time. Challenging this logic – however tempting at times – is foolish.
Love is HARD.
Il Punto: If any of these were EASY, everyone would be doing them…and doing them WELL.
Consider: what four letter words are the blessings of your life? How do they shape your journey and define your brand?
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