These are often temporary motivators and have strings attached that become restrictive and/or burdensome. 

Less frequently, we observe dialed-in high performers with little regard for financial motivators. Instead, they stimulate action – motivating them self, someone else, a team, or even a population – by identifying what opens the valve of inspiration. Consider Maslow’s Hierarchy, at a base level: we crave food, shelter, clothing and a reliable car with a/c that blows cold and a free subscription to satellite radio. As we ascend the pyramid construct, we elevate our awareness to ourselves and others, and most importantly, the interconnectivity between. Instead of a lifetime chasing more dollars or material items that you don’t have now but want in the future, perhaps consider a tweak to how you compute motivation. Some examples might be:

If you want sustained fulfillment in your career, you have to put in the tough work seeking out new projects and opportunities to notch incremental achievement.

If you want health and mobility as a constant (and be able to overcome adversity), you have to take proactive measures to avoid the land mines of poor nutrition, dehydration, and a sedentary lifestyle.

If you want a life devoid of regret, you have to habitually lean into your growth zone, finding comfort in discomfort as you expand your horizon.

If you want social connectivity and abundance, you have to compromise and accept faults in others as your own faults.

If you want more hours in the day, you have to reduce your consumption of alcohol, edibles, social media and pornography (this includes food blogs).

If you want to maintain hugs from your children as they press into their teen years and beyond, you have to give them something to be drawn to by your engagement as they begin to figure themselves out.

If you want a lower, more consistent handicap in golf, you have to put in time at the short game practice area, chipping and putting. (Also try finishing a round with only one ball.)

IL PUNTO: There are no shortcuts…for anything worthwhile. The great news is – just as our decisions have crafted the life we have, the decisions we make ahead shape the wealth of life we want.

How might you consider higher-order motivators to stimulate growth in yourself? Your life? Your family? Your team?

What reconciling is necessary to overcome complacency in a life unfulfilled?

The island rumbled with the South Tower giving way to her damages.

Ominous and iconic dust engulfed downtown like a plague riding the morning breeze.

“It’s coming!” she shrieked; covered, we walked.

FDR to the Brooklyn Bridge.

The antenna tilted and the North Tower was reduced to The Pile.

Eighteen years later, I lost my best friend on September 11th.

His body succumbed to different attacks that produced an eerily similar burning from within.

No foretelling. No goodbyes. No last laughs.

Reminiscing follows a pattern: pause, reflect, smile.

Brendan created those kinds of memories.

Fiercely loyal and eternally positive.

Committed to bringing the mood up.

Shirt off his back, ready to listen or throw down in your defense.

Football camp, summer jobs, ski trips and road trips.

Beach days and concerts, weddings and raves.

Roommates, commuters, wingmen and teammates.

Thick. And. Thin.

There is one particular quote that sounds in my head most often still. Almost four decades of trading classic lines in every possible situation, and this one captures a multitude of sentiments in five words.

“You all right? You’ll be all right.”

When you were down and wallowing, or consumed with negativity. Or just plain bitchin’ about some injustice when life really has dealt you a decent hand. He would cock his head slightly, give his confident half smile and pat you on the shoulder as he asked “you all right?” Only to answer for you “you’ll be all right.” It was more a directive to snap out of it and suck it up – life was not so bad.

That was Brendan. That is Brendan. That will forever be Brendan.

Il Punto: People often reflect on their deceased loved ones as having gotten out of this world at a good time. Others hypothesize about corpses twisting in coffins. What I know about humankind, after globally enduring eighteen months filled with the fear of sickness and death: We are all right. We will be all right.

Brendan Michael Reilly

31 July 1978 – 11 September 2019

A pre-announced and adhered-to agenda properly engages the audience with reduced friction and distraction.

Certainly in the virtual realm, desirable outcomes have become increasingly difficult to achieve as Zoom-fatigue, screaming children in the other room, and the chance to go for a quick hike on the nearby nature trail all pose barriers to effectively delivering our message and gaining alignment. Transitioning back to some degree of IRL interactions might pose the best opportunity to emerge as a master of effective, efficient and productive meetings.

Simply attempting to adhere to the following BPs might differentiate your approach enough to more accurately drive results toward your target, with the ultra-important support of your partners, team, vendors and clients. Should you become a diligent practitioner and, whoa, sky is the limit. These statements have not been approved by the FDA, but, we seem to not care about those qualifications much these days, so sorry – no refunds.

For starters, whether this is a marriage proposal, petition for public office, or new client pitch – the purpose of the communication, meeting, or engagement must be clear and genuine. Any audience picking up a whiff of weakness, or worse, false intentions, is sure to walk early and often.

If you are unable to be honest with yourself, then others will at some point acknowledge their Scooby sense and retreat from engaging with you. 

To illustrate the steps we believe essential, this fictitious scenario involves Pat and Sam (its/they) exploring an opportunity to engage in a collaborative arrangement that involves both parties making sensitive introductions for the purpose of cross-pollination of professional services.

1. Identify WIFM: Pat and Sam declare specific reasons for embarking on this collaboration (including elements of the larger vision), and share honest concerns around potential hindrances to such a joint venture. A solid line back to what is at stake for each party must be drawn. Once agreed it is worth exploring, logistics may be decided.
2. Pre-announce: Sam emails Pat with a brief, bulleted agenda the day prior, asking Pat to add/edit as they see fit. (ie: What else is pertinent to our discussion? Are there any external constraints helpful to know beforehand?)
3. Establish guardrails: as the meeting commences, Sam reviews the agenda and timing so each person is clear on what is about to occur. No one person or talking point should dominate the session. All relevant aspects of the conversation must at least be given some daylight, with follow-on discussions reserved for delving deeper where necessary.
4. Share the conch: Pat makes sure to diligently ask Sam for their perspectives after making a point, permitting each the opportunity to share their ideas and begin to “own” the success of the collaboration.
5. Next steps: Sam shares action items distilled from the discussion, with Pat editing according to their notes. The strength of these directives will determine the tempo of progress toward launching the relationship favorably. Each party will want to declare which item/topic each owns for the sake of dividing and conquering the list.
6. Milestones: with clear assignment of tasks, Sam and Pat depart with mutually-agreed deadlines for individual deliverables, as well as a follow-on date set to reconvene. Repeat from #2 with a fresh agenda.

Now imagine if Pat showed up and skipped right to #5, making demands of Sam without presenting them as amicable expectations after clearly identifying the WIFM. Talk about friction. What if the meeting went swimmingly, but neither tied it all together in the end? Lacking next steps, the interaction remains a conversation with no strategy deployed and unlikelihood of success.

Il Punto: Over the years, it has been both understandable and yet surprising to learn many seemingly successful C-suiters struggle with misalignment of their key leaders. The root cause most often is a lack of structure to meetings – they operate agenda-less. Once a commitment to the practice is initiated, there is marked lift in both alignment and overall cohesion of the team. More desirable outcomes always follow in short order.

In Spring 1519, Hernán Cortés sought to make landfall in Veracruz Mexico and conquer the impenetrable Yucatan fortress that protected a substantial treasure. Remarkably, for nearly half a millennium, no attack had been successful in toppling the defending forces. Cortés rallied his 500+ soldiers and sailors to embark on a journey from Spain aboard 11 ships, with the promise of an historical triumph and riches beyond comprehension for those who made the commitment. Unsurprisingly, by the time his fleet crossed the Atlantic, Cortés found himself with a much less enthusiastic and committed contingency. In addition to seizing all smartphones and tablets while disabling the ship’s wifi, Cortés huddled his lieutenants and directed them to “burn the ships” upon arrival. In this one, momentous act, he catapulted the level of commitment to victory for every single soldier. Do or die.

Similarly, Julius Caesar and Alexander the Great historically eliminated all options beside pressing onward with their respective campaigns in Northern Italy (see also: Crossing the Rubicon) and Persia (another instance of binary motivation). 

These iconic Emperors stared down potentially fatal dispersion of interest among their ranks, no different than corporate leaders today battling the distractions and diversions of their workforce.

Especially as we transition back to IRL from WFH, the unique individual continues to exhibit increased apathy toward participating in the mission of the greater organization. That is, until properly incentivized, or, presented with a fatal alternative.

On a more positive note, during a recent collaboration with Tommy Short, I was reminded how “every struggle is an opportunity in disguise.” Struggle being interchangeable with: challenge, problem, failure, detractor, etc. What we are talking about is mindset. 

Victory and prosperity are functions of perception.

Scrooge McDuck, for example, typified an insatiable and miserly character while his nephews Huey, Dewey and Louie were content with their wealth of fun adventures. Identifying your own base motivation – and with the support of those you know and trust – emboldens you to bear down during periods of adversity and ultimately persevere onto victory.

Modernizing and bite-sizing Cortés’s directive, we arrive at what I call micro-burning the ships. Now, don’t go getting all excited. This has more to do with mindfulness and intensified presence versus augmenting reality by way of psilocybins. On a granular level, procrastination, indecisiveness, and second-guessing are all predicated upon having an excuse, or, an “out.” Subconsciously we eliminate the need to commit confidently. As Cortés might have said, “no bueno.”

Toning our mental muscles on a smaller scale, in rapid daily succession – and never looking back – trains the brain to think forward, not reverse. Over time, habitually micro-burning the metaphorical ships taken to challenge island daily has proven to boost confidence, sharpen acumen, diminish stress and sweeten the taste of success by way of incremental triumphs. The repetition of making smaller commitments and seeing them thru to completion prepares us for more daunting undertakings. Ultimately, even with teams of dissimilar people under a common brand, commitment to the larger mission solidifies as retreating is no longer an option.

Il Punto: Elevate the level of commitment across an organization by ensuring everyone on the team has as large a stake in the common mission as they have in their own advancement, or, survival.

For further contemplation:

How have you benefitted from burning the ships along your journey?

In what ways do you inspire your team to commit fully?

What risks do you encounter when commitment wanes?

Which daily habits help your team stay the course and avoid retreating?

The American flag has become the lightning rod for a nation split along several sensitive social, religious and political “regions,” or viewpoints. And we are perilously close to misdirecting the potentially lethal energy being generated.

Our flag has flown proudly through centuries of brilliant innovation, and withstood periods of shameful social injustice. It has flown in distress and somber mourning. It has been unfurled to celebrate the many freedoms and achievements of Americans home and abroad. Our flag has been redesigned and improved to recognize the growth of our nation, with careful consideration given to the most appropriate display of red, white and blue.

Our flag represents the diligence of preparation exhibited by the American armed forces. From the ritualistic folding sequence to the codified handling and processing from manufacture to retirement. As the standard carried forth by Olympians, musicians, performers and revelers seeking to unify our culture, our flag represents the entire populace. Not one faction.

Currently, our flag acknowledges the early settlement and formation of our nation with 13 bold bands of red and white. The collection of 50 stars across a blue corner field calls attention to the present statehood – each distinct and apart, yet with an intentionally visible uniformity. The metaphor for celestial orientation holds, as we continue the American experiment, finding our way by blending what we know is fair and just with new learnings and enlightenment.

Ours is a simultaneously simple and complex flag. Social commentary of late has brought many to a contentious place of observance of the flag. Others remain steadfast in their respect, honor and pride. What is clear to me: we are missing the opportunity to advance American civilization in place of giving into the temptation to dig our heels in more deeply. We have arrived at a pivotal point of our nation’s history where much good is being wrought from healthy debate by varied perspectives. We must remain committed to a common set of values to respect and operate under. Whatever banner or flag is uniquely “you” can and must continue to fly under that of our country and people. Unified.

Our flag has not survived our nation’s intense history – with many shades of brilliance and darkness – only to become a symbol of division and inequality. And now be placed on the chopping block? Not so fast. Our flag is not to be stolen or co-opted by our extremities, which will surely divide our core further and delay our peaceful resumption of cohesive, productive, inclusive American life.

Our flag has never been up for annual review – nor monthly, nor weekly based on which ideal of society we are favoring more this week over last. Our flag is more enduring and reflective of the ideals we collectively have fought to instill and maintain as our civility has refined. Our flag must continue to wave poetically above our homes, schools, athletic contests, debates, elections and ceremonies to remind us of the collective good, bad and ugly as we persevere humanely. Unified.

Il Punto: Our flag is not the problem. Our nation is not the problem. Our discourse – in the presently disorderly, scatter-shot, easily-incensed form is the problem. Seeking to disassociate, negate and even criminalize the symbol by way of canceling our history of resilience will not inspire unity. The path forward requires our collective recapturing of our flag. We must refresh our memory and spirit. We must rejoice as our flag is proudly displayed above, and thrive by the energy harnessed by her reinvigorated and unifying beauty.

I love golf. It was not always this way – I used to only admire golf, and simultaneously be wildly frustrated by it. Now it is a full blown love affair. It started as an opportunity to spend some time with my dad, lugging his old clubs around Eisenhower Park on Long Island. My early rounds were a solitary contest to see how many balls I could lose in the woods (POI: there aren’t really any woods there, although I did skip a few out toward Carman Ave). Precisely at my breaking point, I would “pure” one (well, relative to my ability at that point), and just like that, she lured me right back in with her sweet embrace. These days, I accumulate minutes on the fringes of days to study the pros in a feeble attempt to perfect my imperfect swing. I look ahead to encouraging my progeny to avoid Weaver Street and keep the ball in the short grass. Hours on the range and short game practice area, combined with professional instruction are required. The payoff is uncertain round to round. Perseverance is key. So is a clear mind as you bring the club back.

Golf is HARD.

WORK

I love my work. My first career brought me excitement and treasure, but the underlying human interactions and opportunity to grow – and help others grow – are what truly brought me joy. As that waned in the age of algos and HFTs, I embarked on this journey as a pro dev consultant and performance coach, reigniting my enthusiasm for working with people not machines. My clients have stimulated remarkable growth for me. Mentally I have been challenged and have risen up victorious more than lay back defeated. The spoils have been enlightenment through learning and experiencing the world through the eyes, minds and even struggles of others. Physically I have been taxed by years of early mornings / late nights, and countless hotels, airports and conference halls that are simultaneously numbing and helpful for keeping trim. Alas, I am blessed. I know now there was a paradoxical truth to my parental guidance: “find something you enjoy doing and can earn a living at, and you will never work a day in your life.” This current trend of working by staying home is, I pray, nearing a conclusion. It must. Nothing great was ever achieved by couch surfing, and after all the red eye flights and early morning cram sessions, I know. Good work comes after good effort.

Work is HARD.

KIDS

I love my kids. Grandpa Mike was both a rigidly successful businessman and Santa Claus to our extended family every Christmas Eve. He would dedicate a couple of hours on Sunday to visit, take us to brunch, and sometimes treat us to a new toy. He was quoted as classifying children “the great time wasters.” Some days, this resonates as the tummy aches, fighting over sticker books and objections to bath time seem to burn the clock like non-GMO gluten free coconut oil on a red hot skillet. Other days, it resonates more positively as cherub-esque smiles and delightful drawing contests pair perfectly with a rainy, lazy Saturday agenda. In either interpretation, kids inspire the hustle, the diligence, the fortitude to see our grand designs through for the sake of building a better life for them. They also, at times, present the final stretch of hurdles to actually crossing whichever finish line we are racing toward.

Kids are HARD.

LOVE

In my bar-backing days (see: summer of ‘98), one of my case-of-beer-carrying-comrades shared with me the now ubiquitous “work smarter not harder” quip. This became a mantra for my sophomore thru senior years (we still observed those class distinctions back before the turn of the century). As life progressed I tried my best to “love smarter” with varying degrees of success due to various circumstantial factors. What I now know is, loving smarter does not necessarily mean it is all milkshakes and first kisses. Loving smarter entails a good amount of self-reflection and a commitment to improvement where appropriate. Loving smarter is swimming with the tide, rather than reaching exhaustion trying to overpower the force of the ocean. In plain language: listen intently to their daily report, bring home a bouquet of fresh flowers, fill their stocking with extra little treats and goodies, replace the lightbulb in the closet the first time they ask. You know, all the things that start off easy, and once we slide into the comfort of long term become less frequent and seemingly more laborious. Loving smarter yields tremendous results, every time. Challenging this logic – however tempting at times – is foolish.

Love is HARD.

Il Punto: If any of these were EASY, everyone would be doing them…and doing them WELL.

Consider: what four letter words are the blessings of your life? How do they shape your journey and define your brand?

Perhaps there is no original thought – lest we diminish authentic creation with the source code of our own unique fabrications.

My lens is certainly that of a #Girldad. I see the acceleration of a world waking up to the remarkable flourishing of ingenuity women are initiating globally. My wonder grows daily at the multitude of permutations each of our five little ones displays. Old jokes and routines are made new simply by being re-told and re-enacted by a different player on the stage. So much to be learned by watching as they themselves learn. And explore. And roll out the edges of their own comfortable voice.

Are we that much different as we advance in life? University (aka college) provides for many a clean slate to refresh one’s interpretation of themselves. Influences come from the obscure character in the physics lab and the random road trip to the liberal arts school your roommate’s sister attends eight hours away. Then, as we take up our first job, and even the second or third, we are provided new environments to reassess and reinvent as we mature. Finally achieving status comes with work product attributable to our own effort, personalized by all that we have taken in over the years. As we subsequently define our personal brand and the experience that accompanies it, we lift others up and harken back to those who paved the way.

At birth, we arrived on a scene our forebears created. After several earnest twists of the kaleidoscope, they produced greater feats of engineering, agriculture, medicine and interpersonal communication. Each improvement geared to innovate, augment and enhance the color and seasoning of our own authenticity, someday. And here we are. Making life just a touch better for those who follow us.

Do we not all inherit a world – a life – whose history is the creation of those who have gone before us? Do we not all find at some point in our journey, the burning internal mission to improve the world and leave our mark? However seemingly small in the grand scheme, we all contribute and collaborate in our own way.

“Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery…that mediocrity can pay to greatness.”

-Oscar Wilde

Il Punto: High performers often experience a deceleration of productivity. This plateau becomes apparent as creativity stalls. Pro hack: dig deep into your bag of prior experiences and the plethora of content others have compiled and put out there in the ether. I endorse the C.A.S.E. Methodology, where you Copy and Supplement Everything. We are not talking plagiarism, rather, improvement upon your unique interpretation and collection of experiences. Of course, proper acknowledgement of works cited are a must.

After all, what started as Clemens we recognize now as the supplemented Twain.

Picture credits to Ken Burns, PBS – thanks!

Earlier this week, I engaged with three uniquely differentiated coaching clients, each expressing their current frustration with converting social contacts into professional relationships. Their experiences were distinct, yet resembled each other in that, ultimately, it was their own preparation (or lack thereof) that presented the greatest obstacle to successfully and comfortably navigating these situations.

One client shared that their hesitancy was out of respect for the friendship that has spanned decades. Another self-diagnosed their inability to delicately shift the conversation from social and light to more professional and serious. The third admitted to not necessarily wanting to fulfill the duty of servicing a friend or family member should they become a client. Neither identified a time when they focused on preparing for these interactions. Rather, they each feared allocating space to even consider how they might facilitate such a conversation.

All valid and real concerns – and meaningful enough to raise the flag of caution when contemplating these opportunities. In the least, prior preparation presents a chance to exude greater confidence and approach the target with clear intentions. In the most, it nails the mark by fostering an appealing experience so the target may decide for themselves to proceed without risking the current status.

Here are two thought patterns helpful in preparing for approaching people you know well and socialize with, but have yet to engage professionally:

1. Weigh in from your own perspective. How would you prefer a close friend or family member reach to you for business purposes? What would that ideal conversation sound like? Where would it occur? What would be said to ensure you don’t change your mind about the other person?
2. Consider the external factors that you do not control. How would you feel if (and when) someone else engages your contact as a client? What if a colleague of yours is the one to reel them in? What does your negligence convey to your contact?

Il Punto: You do not have to be in a business development role to take note. For the sake of modern transparency, it makes sense to not discriminate between social contacts and business targets when getting the word out about your work product and services. Everyone in your world wants to know “what you do” as much as they already may know who you are as a person. Preparing a simple, direct and clear conversation will raise awareness, provide opportunities to network warmly, and perhaps stimulate new growth or ideas.

Why are we still calling it a market “correction?”

Downtrend in university model will accelerate, force hand of administrations to pivot to automation/AI and e-learning at a deep discount to current sticker prices. Select institutions will become ultra-exclusive intellectual “clubs” with commensurate “initiation and dues.”

Values + beliefs + community determine lifestyle.

If our lives were tracked by a GPS device, would it permit wrong turns and deviations to the route more favorably than we do ourselves?

Olympic athletes have had over a year to solely rest, train and condition. Tokyo 2021 will be the year many records are smashed.

Working on the business must be kept separate and distinct from working in the business.

What is confidence? What is risk? What is comfort? What is enough?

UBI is all at once: a major flex, effectively raising the minimum wage, causing scarcity of labor, and, disenfranchising over the long haul.

When we don’t grow, we die.

Will I ever call it Citi Field? Probably not – New Shea.

Il Punto: Caffeine and a new daily workout regime take a few days to harmonize. I will be laying off the caffeine again for focus sake.

First, know that “Tom was not a wartime consigliere.” This runs counter to the stigma all consiglieri (plural) are focused on achieving brute force advancement of the family’s interests. Instead, there are strategies to be devised and executed upon while not in direct territorial conflict. Segue to the more legitimate business world, where we now have the benefit of not only leaving the violin case at home, but a growing culture of healthy vulnerability that has reached the tallest of ivory towers.

Strategic advisers engage in various methodologies. Similar to Hagen, some are intimately aware of internal dynamics and trends, offering counsel to their CEO on major decisions, planning and alliances. Closed door conversations are about preparation ahead of critical communications, and serve as validation of the strategy while also reducing the likelihood of adverse outcomes due to fringe threats.

Other “C Suite Consiglieri” (TM pending) resemble a more classic therapist, and perhaps even hold a degree like Wendy Rhodes of Billions fame. Her credentials as psychiatrist amplify her role as performance coach to the high-powered “fictional” head and traders of Axe Capital hedge fund. These increasingly more common advisers are carefully selected and adept at going deep into the mental folds of high performers.

They work to untie the knots of abnormal behavior and limiting logic, while empowering individuals and teams to ascend whatever metaphorical mountain is ahead in their journey.

Different still, some consultants straddle not only strategic responsibility, but are engaged on the leadership team – with direct reports and staff. This form of retained advisement is more rare due to the complexity of such roles, however truly aligned their interests may be. In these instances, advisers present as wise counsel in the executive suite, while also helping operationally through management channels.

Methodologies also vary and have considerable impact on the effectiveness of a particular engagement. Some rely heavily on psychometric assessments to identify capacity and limitations of key personnel in a more data-driven format. Others leverage their keen observational skills to plot the cast of characters out during their private consulting sessions. Some advisers prefer a more direct approach with clients, making statements and toeing the line of directing action. Finally, others deploy a more Socratic method, utilizing inquiries and prompts to help the client arrive at their own conclusions.

Il Punto: Under all scenarios, there must exist a common vision and bond of trust between adviser and client. Values, ethics, and personal beliefs factor in the early analysis of who might provide such services most effectively. Opposing perspectives may offer early balance and diversity, but over time they could morph into points of contention.

Extra care up front in the selection process helps identify advisers capable of striking the delicate balance between healthy diversity of thought, and damaging conflict of opinion. 

For further contemplation:

• Who are the people in your immediate circle with “soft ears and buttoned lips?” 
• What counsel have colleagues provided that has been effective and guided you through tough decisions? 
• How might a strategic adviser, or consultant, improve your ability to perform at a high level?
• What is the likely result of continuing to go at it solo?

Image attached, credit to: The Godfather & Paramount Pictures.